I actually changed a song I was working on ... tentatively called "the moutain" and used some of the verse or idea from the last poem I wrote in the song. The Song originally was about two people who both wanted all they could hope for... their dreams to be fulfilled but each was a bit jaded and kept themselves busy until an incident created them to notice each other. (The story did not end happily ever after.) Unfortunately neither one of them wanted to "carry the weight" or the burdens of history into their new partnership. One tested the other... the other failed... and in the end no one was happy. It was kind of a downer. lol. Besides which it was a super cheesy song because it had this very mapped out story line. The only thing that survived is the chorus. "Carry the weight"....


played it for the first time yesterday @ Jay Scott's gig... and since I only just rewrote it yesterday I couldn't remember al of it... and they were closing the place aorund me so that didnt help.


however it is ten times better but sort of lacking a title. I said I was going to call it "the weight" ... that got booed cause of the famous song. I was gonna say carry the weight .... but that is too close to ... "carry that weight"


so...
I think I am gonna go with ...."talking to the tide"

and as I sit here now... super sicky poo and unable to practice seeing as how my nose is running like a faucet and yet oh so stuffy that I sound like someone is holding a pillow over my face... i will write instead.


(also need to save voice for Friday. Double header with the band). !!!


.......................
thoughts are collecting like droplets in the back of my mind
and I speculate at semi colons
and parenthesis
and wonder what they mean
put together

its not a grammar lesson
but a lesson of
tender loving care
the kind that with even careful attention
and constant watering
can cause a whole plant to die

doting too much is a problem
and dotting too much causes speculation
I say to her
in the smoke filled kitchen
"what does it mean?"
but she doesn't answer
shes looking back at me from 1987
and all I can read in her eyes is affection

closing my eyes at night
I search my eyelids for an answer
I pray to every mother
and say their names
like they will hear me and
answer
one rocks in her chair
the other scratches her hard polished nail along my forearm
and the last is puffing smoke in the corner
not knowing her heart well enough
she answers mine by saying
"what does your heart tell you?"

this is how it always is
conversations with inanimate objects
are easiest
I know them better
and they know me

the refridgerator purrs
sputters and stops
my head is cemented to its cool exterior as tears
drop to the floor

this is all the conversation I will have today.