Yellow

It's been quite the long while since I have written in here. I'm just getting back on the poetry wagon, so to speak and its proven difficult this semester. The intensely comforting vibe of last semesters class, despite petty differences among classmates, is gone and in its place is a somewhat strained atmosphere this semester due to the attitude of the professor. Relationships aren't as organic and its definitely affecting my creative flow. That aside there is still plenty I have written that I will attempt to post soon and some free verse that I will put down now....


Everything is different and yet the same
I still call you yellow
because in my mind I know you to be no other color
you step in and out of my life in no exciting way
its as if you are the cat
that only if fed will return for the food
and not the affection

I have many of you yellow
and each of you
I have loved

I see you and I am taken back to thirteen
or was it twenty?
It has been both yellow
For you always look the same in every year
in every shape you take
sometimes you are a lover
a friend
mostly you have been nothing at all

its one am and you leave a message
fighting the duality in your mind
yellow you speak of her
always her
the irrevocable
that has done you harm
the one that will do you harm
if given the chance
the one that has cornered you into
being so very fragile

and yet you crave
just for a moment yellow
to remember
to taste
to deliver what you know is truth

The message you leave is short
"um its me, where are you, call me back"
you never leave messages
and this one is your form of urgency
and I don't respond anymore yellow

Sometimes I listen though
sometimes I see you
sometimes I remember and mouth the words
its only a habit
something I have yet to grow out of
yellow grew in me
and when I see you
I am yellow
because I know no other color
I am present
like the paint on the wall.